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when i'm awake

by remember whales

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1.
i'm amazed 02:42
i woke up in the haze of a maze, i’m amazed, i’m ashamed, i’m ashamed, i’m amazed i woke up in the haze of a maze, i’m amazed, i’m ashamed, i’m ashamed, i’m amazed i woke up but the phrase is the same, i’m amazed, and my name, what’s my name, i’m ashamed i woke up but the phrase is the same, i’m amazed, and my name, what’s my name, i’m ashamed i’m ashamed, i’m ashamed, i’m ashamed…
2.
the revelation’s unsurprising the languid horror now routine there is a hook hauled through desolation there is an insatiable appetite there’s a stranger in me and a stranger in you until it breaks, until it breaks until we wake, until we wake until it breaks, until it breaks until we wake, until we wake the information’s unappealing and fact is dimmer in the light deteriorate me, I can no longer face she disconnect the red from the white there’s a stranger in me and a stranger in you until it breaks, until it breaks until we wake, until we wake until it breaks, until it breaks until we wake, until we wake to hold you, to hold you, to hold you, to hold you there’s a stranger in me and a stranger in you until it breaks, until it breaks until we wake, until we wake until it breaks, until it breaks until we wake, until we wake
3.
don't stop 03:27
don't stop i can’t relate to it i can’t relate to all the things you do to what you love
4.
you have a loosely-woven reverie spinning away from waning memories downtown forgot to put your seatbelt you see the light up ahead loose change agitating beside you then suspended and spent i can’t say if i’ve ever felt so human, i can’t say i can’t say but hear voices of prophets, i can’t say all around me all around me you make your own illusions, heavenly such sweet confusions, no enmity no sound except the hum that you felt reverberate in your head cold night forgot to pack a blanket you hug your knees to your chest i can’t see save for these hurried movements, i can’t see i can’t see save for a thousand pieces, i can’t see all around me all around me
5.
back never gonna get back what we lost
6.
a curse or a promise to flood all the solids something fiction could have designed a cure for a virus a fix for desires only money can help you buy i’m not the first to say it i’m not the last to join the countdown from the moment it started, there was nothing left in this world to hide behind as we wake from the wreckage, it’s clear we had this coming for a long, long ass time a long ass time a long ass time a long ass time a prediction of science a blizzard of lies that seem so likely you can’t recognize yourself in the mirror your voice when you hear it the home that you call your mind locked in a bedroom with friends in your head to tell you everything will be alright i’m not the first to say it i’m not the last to join the countdown from the moment it started, there was nothing left in this world to hide behind as we wake from the wreckage, it’s clear we had this coming for a long, long ass time a long ass time a long ass time a long ass time from the moment it started, there was nothing left in this world to hide behind as we wake from the wreckage, it’s clear we had this coming for a long, long ass time a long ass time a long ass time
7.
maybe 03:47
i can’t stay here but i don’t wanna go i can’t stay here so very soon I will be leaving i’m afraid of it getting too close i’m afraid of it, heaven knows we’re barely breathing maybe everybody knows maybe everybody forgets maybe everybody knows and they can’t take it, can’t take it i can’t help but feel we’re losing hope i can’t help but feel nothing else is worth believing i’m okay when you hold me so close i’m okay with you, heaven knows i’m barely breathing maybe everybody knows maybe everybody forgets maybe everybody knows and they can’t take it, can’t take it maybe i’ll roam maybe i’ll roam maybe i’ll roam and find a place to breathe in maybe i’m home maybe i’m home maybe i’m home and i don’t need to leave it maybe i could go to Portland maybe i already know and just need to forget maybe i could go to Portland maybe i already know and i just can’t take it maybe everybody knows maybe everybody forgets maybe everybody knows and they can’t take it, can’t take it can’t take it, can’t take it can’t take it, can’t take it
8.
is it the way that you feel when you’re behind the wheel i gotta say it’s a shame, it’s a shame, it’s a shame, it’s a shame we’ve really gotta hurry i think we’re running out of time all these chromatic flurries must be a sign we all know it’s too late for that S.O.S. a heart attack! let me go let me go back let me go back to white and black is it the way that you are projected in the stars my god it is not a game, not a game, not a game, not a game we’ve been growing leery but it’s over and besides your misanthrope theories are now benign we all know it’s too late for that S.O.S. a heart attack! let me go let me go back let me go back to white and black white and black white and black white and black white and black
9.
she’s the noise of notes that you don’t know, the smell of recent rain on stone she’s the film you wish you hadn’t seen, a quiet place behind the screen she’s the lust to live another life, the sadness that you take in stride she’s the light that likes to dance she’s the light that likes to dance she’s the wake of speeding cars gone by, she’s fearless yet she’s far too shy she’s the phone you keep beside your bed, the news you wish you heard instead she’s the shortage of hospital beds, the rate at which sickness can spread she’s the light that likes to dance she’s the light that likes to dance
10.
I think I’m losing control of the toll of this hole in my soul you left the house on a Friday night as I stayed inside and I am terrified you text my phone with a smiley guy just to signify that we are eye to eye I think I’m losing the side of my mind that’s aligned with what’s undefined I could cut this with a knife just let the pressure give into the pleasure, I wanna love right now just let the pressure give into the pleasure, I wanna love right now every sky you electrify makes me wanna love right now every burn that I can’t unlearn is the way you show me how and am I incomplete without the sweet of the salt and the heat? I fell in love on the internet, she is heaven-sent, I haven’t met her yet I think I’m losing control of the toll of this hole in my soul “where did you get those eyes, boy?” she said and turned my way don’t be unwise, boy, don’t lead that heart astray cuz if we’re not friends then I guess we’re enemies you’re not mine, you’re just in front of me but baby you make me feel nice, don’t want to stop and think twice cause I could cut this with a knife just let the pressure give into the pleasure, I wanna love right now just let the pressure give into the pleasure, I wanna love right now every sky you electrify makes me wanna love right now every burn that I can’t unlearn is the way you show me how wanna love, wanna love right now wanna love, wanna love right now just so we’re clear I don’t love you but I love you tonight I promised fear I won’t look into the sun or the light just so we’re clear I don’t love you but I love you tonight in twenty years we won’t care if this was wrong or alright every sky you electrify makes me wanna love right now every burn that I can’t unlearn is the way you show me how wanna love, wanna love right now wanna love, wanna love right now
11.
tokyo 03:52
i know when you’re going to bed in new york i’ll be waking up in tokyo weighing up the finer things that time you met me walking down 5th avenue begged me baby please just stay through winter and leave in spring in my mind I’ve been waking up beside you but I don’t get your body, do I? all this time we are both under the same sky but I don’t get your body, do I? I don’t get your body, do I? I don’t get your body, do I? running down your high school stairs to find nothing like the movies from your childhood if we’re being honest, most don’t notice the time how could I let you go? i know when you’re going to bed in new york i’ll be waking up in tokyo weighing up the finer things that time you met me walking down 5th avenue begged me baby please just stay through winter and leave in spring i know when you’re going to bed in new york i’ll be waking up in tokyo weighing up the finer things that time you met me walking down 5th avenue begged me baby please just stay through winter and leave in spring I don’t get your body do I? I don’t get your body do I? I don’t get your body do I? I don’t get your body do I?
12.
You leave the house in a mild disaster You lost track of time Surfing online to make it go faster Waiting for a sign Don’t be a coaster now You’re getting closer each day It will all fall into place Keep your composure now You’re getting closer each day It will all be worth the pain When you’ve living in a high-rise With your feet up on the ottoman And you’ll wonder "should I upsize And buy a surround sound system?" You know by now you won’t feel any better By overthinking life Or checking out your hair in the mirror Under fluorescent light Don’t be a coaster now You’re getting closer each day It will all fall into place Keep your composure now You’re getting closer each day It will all be worth the pain When you’re living in a high-rise With a reception chandelier And you'll worry about your eyesight As you survey the stratosphere If you can’t get yourself out of here The answer is inside your bones If you can’t get yourself out of here The answer is inside your bones Inside your bones, inside your bones And then you’ll know, and then you’ll know When you’ve living in a high-rise With your feet up on the ottoman And you’ll wonder "should I upsize And buy a surround sound system?" When you’re living in a high-rise When you’re living in a high-ris

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released December 11, 2020

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